Revived hope

I am FINALLY employed. After worrying non-stop for a month, I have got a job. Funny, how your emotions play trick on you. A friend asked me whether I was happy and I told her I did not feel anything. Now, isn’t that weird. I am supposed to feel ecstatic, out of d world. But, I do not feel any such thing. I wonder why?

I told my friend, all I wanted right now, was to gain some experience and move on…move on to do the job, I think I am best cut out for – reporting. I think this is reason for why I feel neutral about this whole affair.

I am not cribbing. Just apprehensive of whether I would get an opportunity to pursue my passion for reporting. I do not know that but what I know is that I have got a start and I have to manipulate the situation to my advantage. Atleat, I have taken the first step in reaching my goal.

I have to improve myself… take one-step at a time to alleviate myself from being moderate to one of the best. I must endeavour to become somebody and not anybody and hope that better things are in store for me…

Though, I must say I am relieved and happy to get a job, to get a chance to prove myself.

Jinxed

Its brutal. Hunting for work, when all your friends are getting themselves comfortable in their respective work places.

It is futile to cry and despair over my luck but when you have enough time at your disposal, where finish counting every leaf in the mango tree, you cannot help but brood over your fate.

Family, relatives, friends keep telling me to hang on, not to loose hope, that perhaps a better job is in store for me. But I think its an optimistic approach. What if there is no job in store for me? Of course that’s silly of me think in those lines and is practically impossible. But, what if I have to leave the profession I dearly love and for which I had to fight with my family because I could not find the any vacancy? Now, that can happen.

You always think of being successful in the path you have chosen as your career. And when you see that the industry is not even giving you a chance to showcase your talent, to let you inside, it breaks your heart.

The next symptom that quickly follows is self-doubt. You start doubting your own abilities. You start wondering whether you are really cut out for this profession…maybe you made a mistake by taking it. Maybe you did not have an aptitude for it. Your head begins to whirl with these thought till you think your head would burst out any moment, as it cannot take the load anymore.

Somebody once told me – A man without hope is as good as dead. I do not want to lose my enthusiasm for life but I do not find any reason to go on with it either. I am losing hope.

Maybe I am exaggerating the situation. Maybe I am not. Maybe…