The lost traveller?

What should I identify myself with? Should I call myself a malayalee, a Mumbaikar or better still a “Bombay malayalee” as my politics prof. calls me.

I was born and brought up outside Kerala; even my parents were. Hence, there there is nothing wrong in me associating myself as Mumbaikar. Yet, I am called a “madrasi” (even though I am not a tamilian) in Mumbai and a “Bombaykari” in Kerala. It is very frustrating as I find it hard to associate myself with any one of these categories.

I have no ties with my home land, Kerala; have little knowledge of the customs and traditions and though I speak reasonably good Malayalam, am illiterate (I cannot read and write the language). With no relatives left in Kerala, I visit the place as a tourist rather than as a person coming back to his/her ancestral home or village. I am just a ‘namesake’ Malayalee. It doesn’t hurt but it does not alleviate me either. The feeling is neutral.

Even if we observe the customs and rituals though adulterated due to our influence with other communities, they are forced upon me. My parents and relatives in Mumbai do this to desperately hold on to our roots. But when a person does not feel connected to a certain culture, he/she cannot believe in it even if forced. I correlate with Ganesh chaturti and gudi padva more than onam and vishu.

There are also several malayalee youngsters, just like me, in Mumbai who feel ashamed at calling themselves malayalee. They speak Hindi or English at home and of course there are parents who proudly claim that their children do not speak or have no knowledge of Malayalam. This is sad because in an attempt to be a part of their surrounding community they desperately are trying to cut off from their roots. In the name of fashion, they are getting more entangled in the identity crisis.

This is not to say that one should adapt to their surroundings in another land so much that they forget there individuality. Rather, be in touch with their roots by atleast learning the language and perhaps reading the literature of our community. Belief and knowing from where one has come from is more important than displaying to the world that “we staunchly practise the customs even though we are not close to our community or state”. In a weird way, I feel my condition is similar to my cousin’s and several other young people who live abroad.

In the end, I still am clueless about my identify…

Hunting season has begun!

So, the course is coming to an end and recruiters are all ready to "pick" us up. Sounds like a pet owner visiting a kennel and picking a dog that suits their fancy. Dear god! i don't mind imagning myself as a dog provided i get a job of my choice.

Parrot thoughts

The first time I noticed the parrots was when I was hurriedly going towards the bench to join rest of my classmates for lunch. We had come to the hilly region of Yelagiri as part of our deprivation trip in search of stories. On our way back to Vellore, we had stopped in this hotel which had outdoor dining area. Thrilled and starved, I rushed towards the dining area to eat lunch under the trees.

The two parrots were walking on the stone embedded path oblivious to the visitors. Their rusty cage was placed on a wooden platform supported by three wooden stands. A strip of green palm leaf covered the stands like creepers would when they found a host. To keep the visitors from harassing the parrots bush fencing surrounded the cage. I found it odd and amazing when I found the cage door was open and the parrots sad there…lost in their parrot world. It didn’t strike me then as hunger had overwhelmed me and I was in a hurry to order lunch. But after my tummy full, I strolled near the cage and saw the parrots walking on the path. I though ‘what brave parrots. They don’t fear humans at all; walking around fearlessly without thinking that maybe somebody would touch them or harm them.’ I thought that unlike other caged birds, they got the freedom to move out of their cage as they pleased. Like a municipal tube light which takes tremendous amount of time to emit light, the thought struck me late; the wings of both the parrots were clipped. I was appalled.

I knew these things happened all the time but never had impact on me until I saw it with my own eyes. Suddenly I was engulfed by a lot of emotions…I felt pity, sadness and then anger. I enquired with the hotel official on who was responsible for crippling the parrots and he replied it was they had done it so that the parrots would not fly away. I felt like shouting and screaming at them, for telling them what they had reduced the poor creatures to. I again went to look at the parrots now. I wished I could help them somehow. Then I saw one of the parrots proceeding to the cage by slowly climbing the palm strip with the help of their claws and beak. The parrots had learnt to overcome their disability.

The parrots occupied my thoughts even after we left the place. For selfish reasons what had man reduced the birds too. The parrots were supposed to fly in the sky; they were the ariel residents who could not be troubled with the earthly matters. They could fly anywhere they wanted, without any traffic or red light stopping them from their journey. And now all this had ended because some human thought that they would be better as a showpiece. Now all they could do was walk on their small feet and if some one came near run for their lives. The humans had stripped them of their only way of survival; they could not even fly away if a predator came after them.

As the sun went to sleep, I saw the parrots going inside the cage with a lot of hard work and looking at the world without any emotions.